


Aim your arrow at the sky (leave me where I lie)

by oathkeptroxas



Category: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Agoraphobia, Angst, Bullying, Eating Disorders, Foster Care, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, Online Friendship, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-05-30 14:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15099020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oathkeptroxas/pseuds/oathkeptroxas
Summary: Noctis and Prompto strike up a friendship online. Before either of them know what's hit them, they're harbouring feelings. It's too bad there are so many things determined to keep them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is a bit of an introduction chapter, I know it's likely that the tags have given away a lot already but I'd rather you guys get to know the boys as they get to know each other, instead of just info-dumping everything at you right off the bat. I'm hoping some of the revelations will tug on your heartstrings if I handle them right! So please bare with me and lemme know your thoughts!!

Noctis Caelum had always been sheltered, reclusive even. It was through no fault of his own. The blame fell solely on one man, and Noctis thanked every deity that he would never have to see that man again. Regardless, his life had been changed irrevocably. Sometimes bad things just happen, there's no running away from it, and there's definitely no turning back.

The only solace Noctis found was online, where he could be whoever he wanted, where he could hide the grisly parts of himself that he didn’t want others to see. The internet allowed him companionship without the pressure for more.

For the most part, it was casual. Noctis enjoyed discussions and shared interests with many strangers, it was enough that he wasn't feeling quite so lonely, but these people weren't what he would call friends. Prompto was the one who changed everything. Prompto was the friend that Noctis had never thought to want. 

Noctis was not a social person in general. He seldom longed for company, but rather enjoyed his own. So, when he’d left that comment that started it all, it wasn't supposed to be anything other than what it was.

Noctis was a dreamer. He was often lost in the recesses of his own mind. He enjoyed movies and video games of all genres. Though he didn't travel, and hadn't ever been outside of the city where he was born, the _concept_ of travel appealed to him. The thought of seeing new and exciting and beautiful places, of exploring and learning, was a nice thought. At least in theory. But in reality, it was far beyond Noct’s capabilities.

So, one evening he was scouring through a variety of blogs. He stumbled upon a photography blog that was filled with gorgeous landscapes, from mountain peaks to jagged coasts. There were photos of cityscapes and animals, flowers and sunsets. 

With every photograph, Noctis felt more and more like he was seeing the world through the eyes of the photographer. The whole blog was almost a journey in itself, a documentation of every little thing that caught the blogger’s attention. Before he knew it, Noctis had already scrolled through several pages. Passively, he noticed that despite the large gallery of images, the photographer was never the subject.

Without really thinking much of it, Noctis opened the tab to send a message to the page. It was nothing more than passing appreciation for the work, and he hadn’t really thought it would be taken any other way. It simply read:

**nice shots! You're really talented**

Following that, Noctis perused a few other blogs before heading to bed. It was a standard night for him. It certainly wasn't the first comment he'd left, and was unlikely to be the last. When he awoke the next morning, he’d nearly forgotten that he'd even sent it. Until he woke up to a message.

However, the message in question wasn't from the photography blog. That one had been called _promptography_. The message came from a similarly but bizarrely named blog, called _prompom_. Noct’s sleep-addled brain had been hazy with confusion, and he'd had to read the message twice to comprehend it.

**prompom** : hi! :) thanks so much for the nice comment! I checked out your blog and we have a lot in common! So I figured I'd thank you from my personal blog instead! I hope that's okay! I followed you btw!

Noctis felt his brows raise to his hairline. Whoever this person was, they were more openly friendly than pretty much anybody Noctis could think of. After a moment of deliberation, he shrugged. There really wasn't a downside to this.

**noctlc** : hey I'm Noctis

**noctlc** : I just followed you back

**prompom** : awesome! I'm Prompto! Nice to meetcha noct!

Prompto didn't have any friends in his real life. Unless he counted Aranea and Cindy, who totally didn't count since they were his colleagues. Prompto had grown up with an aching desire for companionship, a need that had never quite been met. He worried sometimes that he was too forthcoming, too enthusiastic. There was a part of him that knew his behaviour made him clingy, desperate. He wished those things weren't true. 

There were many reasons why people generally avoided interacting with him. When he was younger the bullying had been so bad that he had convinced himself that he was just inherently unlikable. But on the internet, he could be anyone. He could present himself as someone worthwhile, and hopefully the people he befriended would like him for who he was, not what he looked like or what he'd been through.

Pursuing photography was the one thing in his life that Prompto was sure of. It was a beloved hobby and a welcome distraction. It helped remind him that the world, despite all it's downfalls, could still be beautiful. He often felt that his photography was a reflection of the real him, the person he wanted to be. 

When he'd received the encouragement from _noctlc_ he couldn't stop himself from reaching out. A quick perusal of the others blog let him know they liked the same games and movies. There was a part of Prompto, the treacherous, fluttering thing behind his ribs that kept forgetting how many times before his hopes had been squashed, that wanted to be friends. _It takes more than liking the same games to build a friendship_ , he mocked himself scathingly. But still, maybe _this time_ things would be different.

Neither boy knew it then, but their whole lives were about to become irrevocably different.


	2. Chapter 2

The following months flew by, each week abiding by the same pattern. Prompto and Noctis played video games together online, they streamed movies together, they spent almost every evening in each other's company.

Prompto’s life was a cycle of work and Noctis. There were days when they didn’t speak, of course. Prompto would try to get out and take photographs at least once a week, he was also very strict with himself about his work out regime. It became obvious very early on that Prompto was the one with the busier schedule. So despite the time difference between them, Noctis didn't mind staying up late so that they could spend some time together. 

Their friendship had blossomed effortlessly. After a lifetime of always being on the fringe, Prompto finally felt like he was a part of something. Admittedly, he still didn't know much about Noct’s life. Aside from passive comments and a few names thrown in, Prompto really didn't have much information at all. But what mattered was that Noctis was always available whenever Prompto wanted to chat. It was a comforting thought.

If he were being honest with himself, Prompto wasn't eager to find out anything that Noct wasn't ready to share. He knew that if he were to push for any more information than what was freely given, it would only be opening himself up. He couldn't in good consciousness expect Noctis to share details of his life if he wasn't prepared to do the same in return. But still, Prompto wondered if one day they would get to a point where they could exchange their secrets. Even the concept of it brought a sense of both relief and fear in equal measure.

It had been a particularly draining work week. Being a barista certainly wasn't glamorous, and anybody who worked in customer service knew that customers could be assholes. Prompto seemed to be subjected to so much more aggression and verbal abuse from patrons than usual over the last few days. He wondered if the people were getting worse, or if he was just taking it harder. He'd never felt good about himself regardless, but sometimes he'd have down periods. They’d come and go, varying both in duration and severity. It seemed this week was one of them.

He tried not to let it show. He still did his job as dutifully as ever, even if his smile felt plastered on and paper thin. If Cindy noticed anything, she said nothing. She was another barista at the cafe where he worked, they shared more shifts with each other than with any other employees, that was about the only thing that made them resemble friends. They weren't really friends though, at least not in the way that friendships should be. Theirs was a companionship of convenience, a way to help pass the time of a tedious shift. 

Their manager was a slightly older woman named Aranea, she owned and ran the establishment. She was easy to work for, and didn't talk down to her employees, but she ran her business with an iron first and a no-nonsense policy. Both Cindy and Aranea were confident, sophisticated and professional. Nothing ever seemed to phase them or keep them down for long. Prompto often envied that disposition. On multiple occasions throughout the week he'd caught Aranea eyeing him speculatively, but she said nothing. For that, Prompto was grateful. He needed this job, and couldn't afford to allow his performance to slip even a fraction.

He'd barely gotten back to his apartment before he felt the remainder of his limited energy leave him. He'd intended to go for a run, and knew he'd only hate himself for skipping it, but he just couldn't get himself to get changed and go back out into the world just yet. He stripped out of his uniform, the pungent aroma of coffee and sweat hit his senses as he lifted his shirt over his head. 

Once he was down to his boxers, he dropped to sit on the edge of his mattress. His head hung low between his slightly quaking shoulders. With a deep sigh, he glanced up and caught his reflection in the mirrored doors of his closet. His gaze caught and held. By now, he should've known better than to look at himself too closely when one of these moods hit. It never led to anything good.

He catalogued the way his stomach folded where he was lent forward, the slight soft roundness of his biceps and calves. Within a moment he felt the pin-prick sensation of tears forming, and he bit down on his quivering lip.

_Look at you._ He thought harshly. _You really think you can skip a run when you look like **that**._

Prompto’s fingers trembled and he tried to lace them together to stop the shaking. The motion only drew attention to the striped wristband. He knew what the skin beneath looked like - mottled, covered in criss-cross lines, some in a baby pink and smooth to the touch, others crusted and red. Too often he'd punished himself, punished his body for his lack of self-restraint. He'd taken out his anger and frustration on himself.

The air left his lungs in a painful sob and he was pulling on his sweats and a hoodie within the next second. It didn't matter if he felt so bone-deep tired that he worried his legs wouldn't hold him. He had to run. He couldn't afford to start slacking now.

By the time he returned, his whole body ached. His legs felt like jelly, and his knee had given out halfway through. He'd barely managed to stop himself from sprawling face first into the concrete. But the only thing he could think about was the trickle of sweat down his temples, the damp beading of it at his nape. Sweat was good. Sweat meant it was working. Prompto permitted himself a slight smile at the thought, before he headed to the shower. 

Under the hot spray, he finally felt himself purged of the events of the day. It was a Thursday night, and blessedly, he didn't have another shift until Sunday afternoon. Though he needed the money, and would take any overtime or additional shifts he was offered, after the week he'd had, the concept of having some time off was heavenly.

As he towelled himself dry, he booted up his laptop. Prompto usually used his days off to do some photography, and he needed to transfer all the photos that were currently on his camera's memory card onto the laptop to free up space. He was just slotting the card into the port when the ping of an IM came through.

“Shit.” Prompto murmured. He'd completely forgotten about Noctis.

They'd made plans to watch a movie tonight. Noctis had messaged him hours ago to check if they were still on, but Prompto had been halfway through the shift from Hell and had intended to get back to him once it was over. Prompto glanced at the clock. It was nearing 8pm. They were supposed to start the movie at 7. 

“Shit.” He said again as he opened the chat window. Aside from the message Prompto had seen earlier, there was another from about an hour ago, it simply said “Prom?” 

Noctis had messaged again when Prompto had booted up the laptop. Obviously he had been notified that Prompto was online.

**NoctLC** : dude is everything okay?

Prompto clenched his eyes shut. He was usually so happy to talk to Noctis, but the thought of it now had an uneasy sensation churning inside him. Noct’s concern made sense, despite them not talking everyday, Prompto never left him on read. When the days without communication passed it was because they both knew that the other was busy, it was never because of any true _lack_ of communication. Even when Prompto couldn't talk or was working, he’d still sneak a quick message to let Noct know he wasn't ignoring him.

Prompto took a deep breath. He knew that Noct would be understanding if he opted to cancel their plans. But his behaviour had already managed to tip Noct off. His friend knew that something was up, and Prompto really wasn't ready to deal with any questions, despite the genuine concern he knew Noct would hold for him. 

He bit into his bottom lip. It was strange. There was a clawing, anxious feeling in his chest, a lump in his throat. It was almost like he felt undeserving of Noct’s understanding, unprepared to deal with his friend. Just the mere concept of sending a single message seemed overwhelming.

His stomach growled then. The twinging, rolling cramp resonated from his core. Prompto sighed. “Not now,” He hissed.

He'd told himself this morning that he wasn't going to eat today. And he intended to keep that promise this time. Countless times before he'd sworn the same thing, only to catch himself - sometimes only an hour later - halfway through a piece of toast. It had made him hate himself all the more every time. But today, with the nonstop bustle of a busy work day to help, he'd managed to avoid even thinking about eating, let alone actually doing so. He couldn't trip at the last hurdle. He wouldn't.

He stared down at the screen. His fingers hovered over the keys. Maybe he could just not reply. After all, he wasn't the Prompto that Noct was looking for, not right now anyway. But just the thought of it had guilt gnawing at him. Noctis had become his best friend. He couldn't just ignore him.

His stomach growled again, more insistent this time. It was that hollow feeling of hunger that made up his mind. Maybe talking to Noctis would be just the distraction he needed.

**prompom** : hey! Sorry! Work was super busy today! Feel like I haven't stopped!

**NoctLC** : that's okay! :) you're here now! <3

Something inside Prompto ached. He felt tears stinging at his eyes but he knew he had to keep it together. He had to keep up the pretense, be the enthusiastic person Noct knew him as, the kind of forward, friendly guy who had pursued this friendship in the first place. He could do this, even if the thought of Noct had his heart clenching in his chest.

**NoctLC** : what do you wanna watch?

**prompom** : you choose! Honestly I'm so tired I may end up falling asleep halfway through! sorry about that :( but if I stop replying then I promise I'm not ignoring you!

**NoctLC** : we can take a rain check if you need to, prom. It's okay <3

Prompto stared hard at the message for a prolonged moment. The hungry feeling hadn't quite passed, but mostly, he didn't want to let Noctis down. He wanted to be the best friend he could be. And best friends didn't bail.

**prompom** : no way dude! We said we'd watch a movie tonight! So we're gonna watch one!

**NoctLC** : you sure?

**prompom** : yeah! So choose!

Prompto took the time to pull on some lounge pants and a ratty old tee to sleep in. He laid out on the bed to get comfortable.

**NoctLC** : okay, I sent you an invite. Don't judge me.

Prompto frowned as he clicked the link and opened the server. The majority of the screen was taken up by the title screen for ‘My Love Lies’, an indie romantic drama from the previous years Insomnia Film Festival.

**prompom** : honestly all I know about this movie is that it's sad

**NoctLC** : I don't know all that much either. Iris was just rambling about it when her and Gladio came over last week and I got curious. 

**prompom** : How can you not have known about this movie if you live in Insomnia :’) dude

**NoctLC** : meh….i don't get out much

After that their messages consisted of nothing more than running commentary of the movie. It was pretty good, a little cliche in a lot of ways and the small budget was obvious, though they'd clearly prioritized their funds well and managed to pull off the ‘less is more’ approach. Noctis felt himself relating to the protagonist. She was a hopeful, curious woman, who felt she was a prisoner in her own life, always second guessing, never really moving forward. It had been Iris’ description of this character’s struggles that had compelled him to seek the movie out in the first place.

**NoctLC** : I get that….the whole, wanting more but not knowing how to get it 

**prompom** : hmmm me too

Turned out, the movie didn't have a happy ending. The love that the woman had found, that had given her a new zest for life, had left her for someone new, someone who was free, unhindered by the past. The final scene drew to a close, the woman fell to the floor, the gravel of the road dug into her knees as she watched him drive away. Noctis supposed that the moral of the story was to never have your happiness depend on another. Yet, Noctis couldn't help but think about how little he had to offer someone, and how people would always leave him for someone more free. Little did he know that Prompto, thousands of miles away though he was, was thinking the exact same thing, but for wholly different reasons.

As the credits began to roll, there was no notification from the chat window. Neither of them could put their thoughts to words. They stared, unseeingly, as the melancholy score died off. Prompto wiped at his eyes as the tears fell. They'd been building up slowly over the course of the movies final act. But naively, he’d still hoped for a happily ever after.

**NoctLC** : well….that sure was…..something 

Prompto bit down on his lip, caught between a laugh and a sob. He decided then that he was going to play this off with nonchalance, there was no need for Noct to know how close to home this had hit. 

**prompom** : you should probably know that I'm a huge sap and I'm totally crying right now 

Noctis smiled fondly at the screen. He wondered if there was a single thing about Prompto that he wouldn't find endearing. It was getting late though, and he couldn't suppress the yawn that overcame him. 

**NoctLC** : aw! I didn't mean to make you cry! You can pick the next movie, promise! ;) 

**NoctLC** : for now though, I gotta sleep before I drop. Night, prom! 

He had signed out before Prompto even got the chance to reply. Despite everything though, Prompto found that spending time with Noctis had made him feel better than he had all week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm super nervous about this so please lemme know what you think!!


End file.
